| When your parents or family disapprove of your | | | | persons favour by sending gifts to the person |
| getting married to someone you love, I don't think | | | | and try to make him or her see reasons with you |
| it is wise to just go ahead and get married to | | | | why you should marry the person you want to |
| whomever you want to marry or quarrel and | | | | marry. |
| fight with family members. This will make things | | | | 3. You should also try to explain to the family |
| worse. It's also not wise to break up engagement | | | | why you actually want to marry this person. This |
| your engagement with your fiance or fiancee, | | | | is because they may be acting in ignorance. There |
| because your family disapprove of the person | | | | might be something they heard that might not be |
| you want to get married to. | | | | true. Try to make them see beyond their bias, |
| In Nigeria where I come from, the respect for | | | | especially if their reason is based on tribal or |
| parents and elders is very important. Also, if they | | | | religious sentiment. They should know that times |
| don't approve of your marriage, they would not | | | | have changed and that the world is now a global |
| give their blessing. Getting your parents or family | | | | village. |
| blessing is one of the best thing that can happen | | | | 4. Don't be pushy. If they don't approve of the |
| to any Nigerian. There are some things which I | | | | relationship, give them some time and go back to |
| think you can do to get their approval. | | | | them. With time and continual persuasion they |
| 1. Try to find out the reason behind the | | | | may finally give in. Especially, when they discover |
| disapproval of your fiancé or fiancée. This is | | | | that you truly love your fiancé or fiancée. |
| because there are several reasons why parents | | | | 5. You can also send friends of the family to |
| and family disapprove marriage with a particular | | | | speak on your behalf. By the time you continue |
| person. Some of them are ethnic, religious, social | | | | to send people over and over, they may be |
| status, family background, or educational | | | | force to consent. |
| background of the person you want to marry. | | | | 6. You need to be patient with your family. Don't |
| This will help you in explaining to them why you | | | | be in a hurry to break up. If the reason for your |
| want to marry this person despite their bias. In | | | | family disapproval is ethnic or religious you will |
| Nigeria, there are families who discriminate against | | | | really need some time to get their approval. |
| other tribes. They will never agree to the | | | | There are some people I know who spent three |
| marriage of their son or daughter to someone | | | | to four years before they could get their family's |
| who is not from their tribe. Although there have | | | | approval. |
| been several campaigns against this trend. People | | | | 7. Finally, if you have tried everything humanly |
| are now being enlightened to know that we are all | | | | possible and you don't seem to be making any |
| human and should not be discriminated against. | | | | headway, then you have to involve the |
| Today, there are inter tribal and cross-cultural | | | | supernatural. By this I mean, you have to involve |
| marriages. | | | | God. The way to do this is by praying to Him |
| 2. Find out who is most influential in the family. | | | | about the situation. Asking him to turn things |
| This is because if you can get the favour of this | | | | around in your favour. This is because with God, |
| person, he or she will go a long way in influencing | | | | nothing is impossible. |
| the decision of the family. You can win this | | | | |