| "Is my marriage really over?" That statement is | | | | separation in place of a divorce for now. That |
| almost always said with some sadness. Seeing | | | | allows you both the time you need to consider |
| your primary relationship coming apart at the | | | | what you want and need in terms of the future. |
| seams is heart wrenching. All the years you and | | | | Communication is obviously paramount to solving |
| your spouse invested in one another can be | | | | your relationship problems but it's not as easy as |
| nullified with just one rash decision. If your partner | | | | sitting down and talking through things. You have |
| has suggested the idea of divorcing, or if they've | | | | likely tried that in the past and maybe it resulted |
| even gone so far as to file to end your marriage, | | | | in a lot of conflict. This is typical with couples who |
| don't give up just yet. Many couples come back | | | | have drifted apart. They decide to have an open |
| from the brink of marital disaster to go on to | | | | and honest discussion about their relationship and |
| have very strong, committed and fulfilling | | | | they end up fighting for days. You can't move |
| relationships. | | | | forward if this is the case so you need to |
| The only way your marriage can truly be over is | | | | establish an understanding about how |
| if you accept that it is. If you believe that there is | | | | communication will be handled. |
| any glimmer of hope for you and your spouse to | | | | Many couples who are facing divorce find it |
| reconcile, you shouldn't walk away from the | | | | beneficial to journal what they're feeling in the |
| relationship. It's obviously more challenging if your | | | | form of a letter to their partner. This is an |
| spouse has little interest in working on repairing | | | | effective way to share your thoughts with one |
| things, but it's not impossible. | | | | another. Once you both have your letters |
| One of the first things you must do if you want | | | | prepared you can then sit down with one another |
| to stop your divorce is convey that message to | | | | and read your letter to your spouse and then |
| your spouse in a very calm way. You have to | | | | have them do the same. Promise to listen to each |
| show your partner that you're emotionally mature | | | | other while you do this. Although it's just a |
| and able to handle something as traumatic as this. | | | | starting point it will get you back on the road to |
| Have a list of reasons at the ready for why you | | | | talking about the issues that are at the heart of |
| aren't going to move forward with the divorce at | | | | your marriage again. |
| this time. It's always a good idea to suggest a trial | | | | |