| Copyright (c) 2009 Maurine Patten | | | | - Mentor, coach, and offer tasks that challenge |
| Relationship management becomes more | | | | and foster a person's skills. |
| important as you assume more professional | | | | 4. Initiating change or being a change catalyst |
| responsibility. You need skills to build bonds, inspire, | | | | consistently models the behaviors you want to |
| influence and develop others. All the while you | | | | see in others. You begin by questioning the |
| need to be open to change, manage conflict and | | | | emotional reality and cultural norms underlying daily |
| establish teamwork. | | | | activities and behaviors. How others feel about |
| Emotional Intelligence author Daniel Goleman | | | | the change process needs to be considered. |
| believes it is possible to build better relationships | | | | Individuals who are easily able to initiate change: |
| one step at a time. This is accomplished by | | | | - Recognize the need for change |
| focusing on six competencies in the Relationship | | | | - Challenge the status quo |
| Management domain of Emotional Intelligence: | | | | - Make compelling arguments for change |
| 1. Inspire | | | | - Find practical ways to overcome barriers to |
| 2. Influence | | | | change. |
| 3. Develop | | | | 5. Managing conflict requires being able to |
| 4. Initiate change | | | | understand different perspectives and finding a |
| 5. Manage conflict | | | | common solution that everyone can endorse. It |
| 6. Establish teams and collaboration | | | | requires good listening skills and self-control. |
| Let's look for some ideas about how to be | | | | Individuals how have good conflict management |
| successful in each of these domains. | | | | skills: |
| 1. Inspiration often begins with a time of quiet | | | | - Handle difficult people and tense situations |
| reflection about nagging questions. In the process | | | | tactfully |
| of examining feelings which include anxiety, | | | | - Spot potential conflict and help de-escalate the |
| confusion and passion, often a vision becomes | | | | situation |
| clear which helps to understand the larger purpose | | | | - Encourage open discussion |
| or mission. For inspiration to truly happen, the | | | | - Work for win-win solutions. |
| vision has to be spelled out to others in a | | | | 6. Teamwork and collaboration model respect, |
| compelling style. In this way, others hopefully will | | | | helpfulness and cooperation. Both work and home |
| "buy into" the ideas and plan. Individuals who | | | | are happier when these conditions are met. When |
| inspire others: | | | | teams work well, turnover and absenteeism |
| - Draw on the collective wisdom of others | | | | decline and productivity increases. Individuals who |
| - Involve others to look at the reality and the | | | | have strong teamwork and collaboration skills: |
| ideal vision | | | | - Draw all members into active participation |
| - Are able to connect with people's emotional | | | | - Build a team identity and commitment |
| centers as well as intellectually. | | | | - Protect the group and share credit. |
| 2. Influence is one of the three ingredients of a | | | | It is now known that emotions are contagious. In |
| democratic leader. Teamwork and conflict | | | | addition, every encounter with another person can |
| management are the other two ingredients and | | | | be anywhere on a continuum from emotionally |
| will be discussed later. Influence also requires | | | | toxic to nourishing. |
| effectively handling others' emotions. You may | | | | In summary, to improve your relationship |
| have been in situations where you influenced | | | | management skills, you want people to be able to |
| someone's mood, or he/she influenced your | | | | turn towards you rather than away or against |
| mood. Individuals with a high level of influence: | | | | you. To have good relationship management skills |
| - Skillfully win people over by listening, networking | | | | you need to use the following 5 tips: |
| wit them, etc. | | | | 1. Develop open, honest, trusting relationships. |
| - Fine-tune what they are going to say to appeal | | | | 2. Have self-respect and show respect to others, |
| to the listener | | | | especially if you are responsible for their |
| - Willingly use a variety of strategies to build | | | | development. |
| consensus and support. | | | | 3. Have good communication skills including |
| 3. Developing others is a skill needed by managers | | | | listening, assertiveness and conflict management |
| who supervise others and are responsible for the | | | | 4. Understand what a change process entails, and |
| growth of employees in their department or | | | | be willing to lead people through it. |
| division. Individuals with a high level in developing | | | | 5. Be a good team member and encourage |
| others: | | | | collaboration. |
| - Acknowledge and reward people's strengths and | | | | Being an effective manager not only makes you |
| accomplishments | | | | look good, it improves the skills of those you |
| - Offer helpful feedback and accurately target | | | | supervise and makes them look good. That is a |
| needs for further growth | | | | "win-win" for everybody. |